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Tag Archives: public health

Whole Grain Badness

I’ve tried my best to eat for health, but now I’ve paid the price. According to the latest news, there’s arsenic in rice! I’ve kept my fiber intake high, I have since I was ten. And only to be murdered by the likes of Uncle Ben! From here on out, I’ll live on fries and [...]

Black Market

Bloomberg’s brought back prohibition! Jumbo drinks are now taboo! Crooks and mugs are on a mission, Brewing bathtub Mountain Dew! Need some hefty Coca-Colas? Mr. Pibb, the drink of sin? Go out back to Joe Carolla’s. Knock three times, he’ll let you in. Sunkist sells like liquid crack. There’s Sprite for those who’ve got the [...]