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Tag Archives: medicine

Spare Parts

I read that doctors grew an ear upon a woman’s arm. So I think I’ll start a business and become an organ farm! You need a nose? A tongue? A toe? Perhaps you need a thumb. For a very modest one-time fee, I’ll grow one on my bum! I’ll grow a nipple if you like. [...]

Medical Miracle

You can take Amoxicillin Or the latest sulfa drugs, A dose or two of Theraflu In hot and steaming mugs, You can mess with beta blockers, But the remedy you need Is a simple inhalation Of some good old-fashioned weed! It’ll cure appendicitis, Meningitis and the croup. It’ll loosen up the sluices When it’s difficult [...]

This is going to hurt…

Medieval physicians, as history teaches, Would bleed all their patients with razors and leeches. They’d give you a physick to balance your humours, Perhaps a live rat to eradicate tumors. Barbaric techniques, and yet all of them pale When compared to our present-day torture — the scale!