Skip to content

Tag Archives: Halloween

Halloween Limerick No. 7

A beastly old fellow named Hume, Taken ill, was confined to his room. As he lay on his back, He said, “Doc, you’re a quack! It’s not what I’ve eaten, but whom!”

Halloween Limerick No. 6

A crazy old hippie named Dave Caused alarm with the way he’d behave. He could often be found In a box underground, Saying, “Hey, man, I’m diggin’ this grave!”

Halloween Limerick No. 5

The surgeon said, “Let’s have some fun. My brilliance is second to none! My amazing technique Will improve your physique, For two heads are better than one!”

Halloween Limerick No. 4

The unfortunate Mortimer Ridge Took a fall from the Golden Gate Bridge. By the terms of his will, He remains with us still, For his head is preserved in the fridge.

Halloween Limerick No. 3

An evil magician named Binns Did away with his lover for grins. When the cops came around, The sole weapon they found Was a doll full of needles and pins.

Halloween Limerick No. 2

An eccentric old fellow named Fred Would exhume the remains of the dead. “It’s disgusting,” he’d say, “But I can’t disobey All the voices that shout in my head.”

Halloween Limerick No. 1

A nerdy young zombie named Baines, On a date with a girl from Des Plaines, Said, “I don’t give a hoot If you’re ugly or cute, But I do like a woman with brains!”

Death By Sugar

The nation’s growing more obese, As scientists and doctors warn. They’ve notified the health police Of Oreos with candy corn! Their color’s got a neon glow. They’re packed with sugar by the ton. Their fiber content’s extra low, And no one ever eats just one! The CDC is quite alarmed. They’ve issued warnings all must [...]