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Attainable Goals for 2009

Resolved: I’ll fight no grizzly bears,
Won’t climb the Matterhorn in Crocs.
I’ll have no hot but cheap affairs
With Kirsten Dunst and Megan Fox.
I won’t be pressured by my peers
To join the Crips or Rosicrucians.
And though I’ve failed in other years,
I may just keep these resolutions!




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