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Saint Nick Speaks

I wasn’t always fat, you know.
As all my ancient icons show,
I used to be a lean and wiry bloke.
The cookies left by every tot
May seem the culprit, yet they’re not.
The blame lies most decidedly with Coke!

Their advertisers undertook
To give St. Nick a plumper look,
So now I’m quite the porker, sad but true.
Now Coca-Cola’s on my list
Because I’ve been profoundly dissed.
Forget the lump of coal — I’m gonna sue!




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