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The Polls

With apologies to Edgar Allen Poe

See the shifting of the polls–
Tracking polls!
Mingling hopes and terrors in the voters’ very souls!
See the numbers soaring, dipping
As you search them for a clue
In a drama tense and gripping,
Full of unexpected flipping, 
Turning red states into blue!
See them swing, swing, swing
Till they can’t predict a thing
And you swear that indecision is among the greatest goals
Of the polls, polls, polls, polls,
Polls, polls, polls–
Of the ever-changing, widely-ranging polls!

Hear the sniping of the polls–
Rival polls!
Trading accusations like, “Your data’s full of holes!”
Hear them bicker, bicker, bicker
On which candidate’s ahead,
Being infinitely quicker
Than two lawyers jacked on liquor
To attack each other’s cred!
Hear the spin, spin, spin!
They’re predicting who will win
While professing objectivity, which all the world extolls
In the polls, polls, polls, polls,
Polls, polls, polls–
In the uncorrupted, fair and balanced polls!

Feel the power of the polls–
Exit polls!
Announcing prematurely, “This is how the nation rolls!”
Now the pundits call the battle,
Which completely rocks the boat
When some goober in Seattle
With the brains of sheep or cattle
Thinks, “I might as well not vote!”
How they skew, skew, skew
What potential voters do,
Till the staunchest Libertarian could wish for tight controls
On the polls, polls, polls, polls,
Polls, polls, polls–
On the all-too-influential exit polls!

 

 

3 Comments

  1. Anna wrote:

    An epic poem for what will hopefully be an epic day. I’m following the action on twitter – http://election.twitter.com/ – probably a much fairer indication!

    Tuesday, November 4, 2008 at 7:41 am | Permalink
  2. Jimmigee wrote:

    For whom the beltway polls,
    It polls for Me??

    Tuesday, November 4, 2008 at 8:08 am | Permalink
  3. D J. wrote:

    Certainly not apologies to Poe! It’s a tribute!

    Let’s just hope no one feels at the end of day that their “…soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor/Shall be lifted…nevermore.”
    ’cause the bird is the thing!

    Tuesday, November 4, 2008 at 9:20 am | Permalink

2 Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. | Zhang's Blog on Tuesday, November 4, 2008 at 11:44 am

    [...] bicker On which candidate’s ahead, Being infinitely quicker Than two lawyers jacked on liquor Read More|||Polls suggest the six closest state races on election day will be in Florida, Indiana, Missouri, [...]

  2. | MJJ's blog on Tuesday, November 4, 2008 at 12:28 pm

    [...] bicker On which candidate’s ahead, Being infinitely quicker Than two lawyers jacked on liquor Read More|||Polls suggest the six closest state races on election day will be in Florida, Indiana, Missouri, [...]

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