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The Speech In Brief

I accept your nomination,
Humbled by your approbation!
Here’s Paul Ryan.  He’s the bomb.
Super fella.  Loves his mom!
Last election: “Change and hope.”
Four years later: Better?  Nope!
I’m a plain midwestern guy,
Raised on good ol’ apple pie.
Were we optimists?  Darn straight!
Wasn’t that Neil Armstrong great?
Father came from Mexico.
Built a business, as you know.
Ran the state.  Mom ran for Senate.
(GOP’s got women in it!)
Ann and I then raised five sons.
Shucks, what rascals!  Loved ‘em tons!
Had good friends.  Faith was key.
(Mormon church is normal, see?)
Obama voters, here’s a thought:
Was voting then the best it got?
He’s no businessman, that’s plain.
He made speeches, I built Bain!
Is that awesome?  I say yes!
Here, we CELEBRATE success!
Just look back four years, okay?
No one’s better off today.
Economy’s a real non-starter.
This guy’s freakin’ Jimmy Carter!
That’ll change, ’cause I’m your man.
Look!  I’ve got a five-step plan!
We can make our future bright.
Come on, gang, let’s start tonight!

 

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