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Rotten Reboot

“Dark Shadows” was a gothic soap
That baby boomers dared to hope
Would one day reach the movie screens
With grander, more horrific scenes.
Then skies would brood and ghosts would fly,
Enhanced by modern CGI.
We’d gasp, we’d tremble, some would shriek.
We’d FEEL the wrath of Angelique!
And so it seemed a welcome step
When Burton teamed with Johnny Depp,
Whose Barnabas would chill our spines.
(And unlike Frid, he’d know his lines!)
But once the trailer was released,
A cry rose up from west to east
Of cheated fans exclaiming, “Shit!
They’ve remade ‘Dead and Loving It!’”
They went for laughs with cheesy camp.
A disco ball?  A lava lamp???
In short, they’ve killed a childhood fave.
Dan Curtis spins within his grave.

 

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