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A Public Apology

Mr. Limbaugh, I apologize.
I humbly take it back.
I sincerely never meant it
As a personal attack.
Perhaps it was an impudent
And thoughtless thing to say,
But I meant “disgusting pinworm”
In the very nicest way!
I regret that I described you
As an ape without the class,
That I said you were a pimple
On the anus of an ass.
When I called you scummy maggot’s puke,
Who knew you’d hold a grudge?
And likewise when I said your brain
Was Port-a-Potty sludge!
Wanker, douchebag, asshole, putz,
Tweeker skunked on meth,
Dickless wonder, tub o’ lard,
And dingleberry breath,
Pig-molester, toe jam licker,
Skid mark, jackoff, tool…
For all those things I’ve said and more,
I’m sorry.  So we’re cool?




  1. Louise wrote:

    Brilliant as always, Scott!! Thanks!

    Sunday, March 4, 2012 at 10:49 pm | Permalink
  2. Jerry wrote:


    Sunday, March 4, 2012 at 10:53 pm | Permalink
  3. Andre wrote:


    Monday, March 5, 2012 at 5:50 am | Permalink
  4. Sharon Valleau wrote:

    Thank you for this masterful missive!
    Bookmarking you… ;-)

    Monday, March 5, 2012 at 9:22 pm | Permalink
  5. Jim Sneegas wrote:

    Miss you, dude!

    Monday, March 5, 2012 at 10:11 pm | Permalink
  6. Steve wrote:

    Well done! Loved this one! (well, I love all of them)

    Saturday, March 10, 2012 at 5:44 am | Permalink
  7. Thank you for “A Public Apology,” especially for its beautiful array of inspired insults.

    Sunday, March 11, 2012 at 1:37 pm | Permalink
  8. Kathy Dobson wrote:

    I always love your stuff!

    Monday, March 12, 2012 at 11:29 am | Permalink
  9. Myrthryn wrote:

    I am enjoying these…thanks.

    Thursday, April 5, 2012 at 7:17 am | Permalink
  10. Bud Glory wrote:

    Just wanted to say that I love this poem, and I wrote one myself about the asshole that I think you’ll enjoy.

    and in performance:

    Saturday, July 14, 2012 at 12:01 pm | Permalink

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