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Why They Call It Dope

You can keep your marijuana,
Crystal meth and belladonna,
Your peyote and your booze and benzedrine.
I don’t need a needle, bong or
Rolling paper any longer,
‘Cause I’m high on something stronger.
It’s a drug called Charlie Sheen!

Look upon me and despair!
I can strafe your underwear!
I’m the baddest S.O.B. you’ve ever seen!
I’m a genius, good and proper,
While my Johnson is a whopper,
And I’m partly Dennis Hopper
On this drug called Charlie Sheen!

If you think I’ve gone insane,
Well, I cured it with my brain!
I’m a Vatican assassin, sharp and keen.
And my high is just beginning.
I’m addicted, but to winning!
Damn, my head is freakin’ spinning
From this drug called Charlie Sheen!

sheen

 

2 Comments

  1. Best wrap-up I’ve yet read. Thanks!

    Tuesday, March 8, 2011 at 11:37 am | Permalink
  2. Andre wrote:

    Quoth his publicist, “Nevermore.”

    Thursday, March 10, 2011 at 7:49 am | Permalink

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