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Why They Call It Dope

You can keep your marijuana,
Crystal meth and belladonna,
Your peyote and your booze and benzedrine.
I don’t need a needle, bong or
Rolling paper any longer,
‘Cause I’m high on something stronger.
It’s a drug called Charlie Sheen!

Look upon me and despair!
I can strafe your underwear!
I’m the baddest S.O.B. you’ve ever seen!
I’m a genius, good and proper,
While my Johnson is a whopper,
And I’m partly Dennis Hopper
On this drug called Charlie Sheen!

If you think I’ve gone insane,
Well, I cured it with my brain!
I’m a Vatican assassin, sharp and keen.
And my high is just beginning.
I’m addicted, but to winning!
Damn, my head is freakin’ spinning
From this drug called Charlie Sheen!




  1. Best wrap-up I’ve yet read. Thanks!

    Tuesday, March 8, 2011 at 11:37 am | Permalink
  2. Andre wrote:

    Quoth his publicist, “Nevermore.”

    Thursday, March 10, 2011 at 7:49 am | Permalink

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