Old Time Religion
Observe the Reverend Robertson.
Beneath his gentle mien
Lie views of sin and punishment
from Century Thirteen.
I learned about that era
in a favorite college class.
And I’d gladly get medieval on his ass!
Scold That Tiger!
How is it, Brit Hume, that you lightly presume
To be Tiger’s religious adviser?
The Enlightened One’s teaching is deep and far-reaching,
But you, evidently, are wiser!
Temptation may seize us, but turning to Jesus
Will put us at peace with our maker.
So when Tiger is saved, he’ll be rightly behaved
And as moral as Swaggart and Bakker!