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Monthly Archives: October 2012

Halloween Limerick No. 7

A beastly old fellow named Hume, Taken ill, was confined to his room. As he lay on his back, He said, “Doc, you’re a quack! It’s not what I’ve eaten, but whom!”

Halloween Limerick No. 6

A crazy old hippie named Dave Caused alarm with the way he’d behave. He could often be found In a box underground, Saying, “Hey, man, I’m diggin’ this grave!”

Halloween Limerick No. 5

The surgeon said, “Let’s have some fun. My brilliance is second to none! My amazing technique Will improve your physique, For two heads are better than one!”

Halloween Limerick No. 4

The unfortunate Mortimer Ridge Took a fall from the Golden Gate Bridge. By the terms of his will, He remains with us still, For his head is preserved in the fridge.

Halloween Limerick No. 3

An evil magician named Binns Did away with his lover for grins. When the cops came around, The sole weapon they found Was a doll full of needles and pins.

Halloween Limerick No. 2

An eccentric old fellow named Fred Would exhume the remains of the dead. “It’s disgusting,” he’d say, “But I can’t disobey All the voices that shout in my head.”

Halloween Limerick No. 1

A nerdy young zombie named Baines, On a date with a girl from Des Plaines, Said, “I don’t give a hoot If you’re ugly or cute, But I do like a woman with brains!”

Well, That Was Quick!

Progress marches on and on. What’s here today is swiftly gone. The Model T has seen its day, And VHS is now passé. Each day the pace is faster still. If something hasn’t changed, it will! I blinked my eyes. I missed a beat. And now my iPad’s obsolete.

The Debate In Brief

R. I can make our nation strong. O. Everything you say is wrong! R. Attacking me gets nothing done. O. Wrong again! (Besides, it’s fun.) R. I’ll restore our fortunes fast! O. With policies from decades past? R. Chaos in the Middle East! O. Well, bin Laden’s gone at least! R. Can’t just kill our [...]

Liquid Lit

The Book Club members gather and refreshments start to flow. They serve a fruity Chardonnay, a Riesling and Merlot. They compare their Francis Coppola with cheaper Two Buck Chuck. They reminisce on younger days when people drank Cold Duck. Of course I can’t be certain, but to judge from how it looks, if they changed [...]