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Monthly Archives: July 2012


Imagine a quote from the brilliant Bob Dylan. His words would be cryptic, yet poignant and deep. What treasures of wisdom that dude would be spillin’. His thoughts would take wing and his logic would leap! Imagine he spoke of sublime inspiration With all his ineffable fancies and quirks. Imagine he gave you the perfect [...]

One Chick, One Dude

We’re a family operation, And our mission’s very broad. We do more than peddle chicken, We enforce the will of God! We’re the guardians of righteousness, So here at Chick-fil-A, We approve of love and marriage, But condemn it if it’s gay! The law is in Leviticus, Right there in white and black. (There are [...]

Long Shot

You’ve got to love an underdog Who faces daunting odds To compete against the finest Of athletic demigods. So let us give a hearty cheer, For motivation helps. You’ve got to love an underdog. Let’s root for Michael Phelps!

Gotta Have It!

I’m eating again at Los Pollos Hermanos. The chicken’s like nothing I’ve tasted before! So spicy and tender, I go on a bender And down a whole bucket, but still I want more! When I first took a taste, it was instant obsession, A powerful habit I just never shook. My insatiable cravings now lead [...]

Close Quarters

The latest trendy dwelling is the little tiny house. But I think it might get awkward for a guy who’s got a spouse. They would have a tiny living room With just a little space. On their single tiny sofa, They’d be always face to face. In their tiny little kitchen they would just be [...]

Language Lover

I’d like to know more Spanish. It’s a lively tongue to speak. I’ve dabbled in Italian, and I still retain some Greek. I’ve even messed with Klingon like a total language nerd, But lately I’ve been picking up a little ERMAHGERD. I’ve learned to say, “GERD MERNING” just from reading basic BERKS. I can order [...]

Responsible Journalism

In yesterday’s Journal I read that the Colonel Improperly fondled an underage hen. The Times is reporting that Snooki’s aborting And Biden’s been out having threesomes again. The Martians have landed, the Senate’s disbanded, And pediatricians now recommend booze. Rhode Island’s seceding.  Gay penguins are breeding. I love when The Onion gets picked up as [...]

Dr. Seuss on Public Radio

I do not like that dreadful show. I would not listen, no, no, NO! I would not listen in my car. I would not listen at a bar. I would not listen out at sea, In Rome, Berlin, or Kankakee! I would not listen night or noon. I would not listen on the moon! I [...]

Brave, Not Dumb!

I will not walk on red-hot coals. It’s not among my lifetime goals. To make my self-esteem complete, I feel no need to grill my feet! Perhaps I’ll run a marathon Or maybe get my base jump on. I’ll rope an angry crocodile, Escape from tanks Houdini-style! I’ll run with bulls at San Fermín. I’ll [...]

The People on the Plane

THE ETERNAL OPTIMIST There’s no way your baggage Will fit in the bin, Yet you somehow have faith That you’ll cram it all in! THE FREQUENT GOER Lady in the window seat, Once again we’re on our feet. You sip your coffee, coke and tea, And fifty times you have to pee. THE SPIRITUAL TRAVELER [...]