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Monthly Archives: May 2011

Priorities

The floor’s unswept, the bed’s unmade, I’ve left the yard work incomplete. My past-due bills are still unpaid. My laundry smells like rancid feet. The bathtub has a leaky tap. The cat box overflows with turds. But I give less than half a crap. I’ve leveled up in Angry Birds!

A New Leaf

Today I turn a corner And devote my life to sin, To revelry, impiety, And pleasures of the skin. In drunkenness I’ll fornicate, I’ll cheat and swear and lie. I’ll tell the kinds of jokes that make The baby Jesus cry! I’ll reenact “Caligula” Or works by Robert Crumb. And I’ll always be prepared for [...]

Special for Limerick Day

The limerick’s a curious item. It’s amusing to read and recite ‘em. They’re lightly poetic, Yet often emetic, For everyone thinks they can write ‘em!

Bin Laden in Hell

Where are my soft and luxurious couches? Where are my virgins in scanty attire? Where is my wine in its solid gold pitchers, And what’s with the sulfur, the brimstone and fire? I recruited young martyrs, degraded all women, I warred against infidels, killed them en masse. So where’s my reward for my service to [...]