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Monthly Archives: March 2011

A Diet to Die For

I listened to my body, as the nature types advise. My body screamed for Pringles, Easy Cheese and curly fries. Creamy, rich alfredo sauce on Stouffer’s fettuccine, Spam and Rice-A-Roni, Dinty Moore and Beanie Weenie! Taco Bell Chalupas, triple Whoppers and McRib, The Colonel’s Extra Crispy with a jumbo Mr. Pibb! Twinkies, Ho-Ho’s, Ding-Dongs, Yodels, [...]

Comedy Classic

You may laugh at current comics Like O’Brien and Gervais. You may love the Kathy Griffins, Lewis Blacks and Tina Feys. But if comedy’s your passion, Then you really ought to know Of the brilliant comic genius Of the great Bazooka Joe! He’s been around forever, But he’s still a funny guy, Superbly hip and [...]

Cap’n Courageous

Bold sailors were we on a two percent sea, A right jolly and nautical bunch. The first mate was Willie, the bosun was Billy, Our captain Horatio M. Crunch. We’d lend him our ears and he’d scuttle our fears When conditions were stormy or foggy. “If the Guppy should sink, you’ll be dunked in the [...]

Why They Call It Dope

You can keep your marijuana, Crystal meth and belladonna, Your peyote and your booze and benzedrine. I don’t need a needle, bong or Rolling paper any longer, ‘Cause I’m high on something stronger. It’s a drug called Charlie Sheen! Look upon me and despair! I can strafe your underwear! I’m the baddest S.O.B. you’ve ever [...]