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Monthly Archives: February 2011

Dairy Disgust

I would not eat it in a cone. I would not eat it on its own. I would not eat it in a shake. I would not eat it with a cake. I would not eat it, not a bit, In sundae or banana split. I would not, could not eat it up With two [...]

Great Grape

The experts say that red, red wine Will keep your health robust and fine. And so, to live another day, I’ll drain a glass of Cabernet, A tonic known as dry Merlot, And then another called Pinot. A Burgundy comes next, and — Ah! Letsh have a nice Petite Syrah! And though it sheems I’ve [...]

Sex Life of a Saint

Oh good and fine Saint Valentine Whose deeds of love forever shine, Who made a sweet occasion Of the pagan Lupercalia, Did you take a vow of chastity, Forsake all acts of nastity And never get all beastly With your priestly genitalia? We honor you, Saint Valentine, With fancy chocolates, roses, wine, With sheer and [...]

Joker’s Reviled

Big playa in the Hold ‘Em game, Your strategy’s insanely lame. Kid Bingo ought to be your name! Your long shots never stop. You’re famous as the King of Clods The way you tempt the poker gods. You go all in against all odds Before you’ve seen the flop! Your royal flush then beats my [...]