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Monthly Archives: September 2010

Burma Shave for Intellectuals

Nietzsche’s frau was not so merry Because her Mensch was über-hairy. –Burma Shave Parmenides was loath to see His stubbly growth could not not-be. –Burma Shave Einstein was no navel-gazer. He often borrowed Occam’s razor. –Burma Shave A rough-cheeked reasoner’s big rant: “I try to score with babes, but Kant!” –Burma Shave Sartre loved madame’s [...]

Holiday from Health

Pancakes, waffles, eggs with ham, Denny’s Colon Blocker Slam, Sausage gravy, thick and pasty, Egg McMuffin, Big N’ Tasty, Double Whopper, extra cheese, Dairy Queen and Tastee-Freez, Chimichangas, chili dogs, Stuckey’s famous nutty logs, Long John Silver’s, Pizza Hut… Road trips kick a diet’s butt!

Cruising for a Big Bang

Dr. Hawking, Dr. Hawking, Your remarks are truly shocking! A creator wasn’t needed For the universe, you say. Those entities you’re knocking Don’t take kindly to your mocking. There’ll be coal inside your stocking On this coming Christmas Day! Dr. Hawking, Dr. Hawking, Hear those theologians squawking! They’re exclaiming, “Gosh!” and “Darn it!” (Which is [...]

On the Last Guy to Use This Urinal

Some dude has high hostility, Dementia or senility, Perhaps a disability, Or else he’s in a rush. It could be insobriety, A lack of all propriety, But though I wish he’d try it, he Can never seem to flush!

The Speech in Brief

Combat troops Disengage. Mission’s changed. Turn the page! Now we train, Show them how. Biden’s there Explaining now. Afghanistan? Pakistan? We’ll defeat The Taliban! Here at home, Middle class Needs a boost. Must haul ass! Troops inspire In times like these. Kept my promise. Love me, please?