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Monthly Archives: August 2010

Little Big Man

Tell us, Little Caesar, For we’re keen to hear it all. Did you war with Little Pompey? Did you conquer Little Gaul? In Little Alexandria, Were orgies hot and sweet, And was Little Cleopatra What you’d call a three-meat treat? We’ve searched the ancient annals, But the answers still elude us. Were you murdered in [...]

Rumble at Ground Zero

Opponents of Cordoba House Would pass a resolution To ban construction of a mosque, And damn the constitution! And you, most honored imam, So enlightened, wise and good, Although you’ve got the right to build, That doesn’t mean you should! “It fosters peace!”  ”Does not!” “Does too!” How ’bout you all just get a clue? 

Don’t Look B’ack!

Cathy’s lessons: Chocolate is a woman’s favorite snack. A day of swimsuit shopping can reduce a girl to “Ack!” A man is never sensitive. A mother always nags. And to syndicate a comic strip, you need at least four gags.

App Fatigue

Perhaps you stayed up half the night To get your smart phone working right, Or maybe you were playing games  Or generating rock band names Or harvesting your Farmville fruit Or making Zwinkies extra cute Or wasting time on Google Chat. Exhausted?  There’s a nap for that!

On Behalf of the Crew, Shove It!

It was on the ninth of August.  He’d been up since very early. The cabin was oppressive and the passengers were surly. But little did they know as they descended from the sky That soon they’d feel the wrath of Angry Flight Attendant Guy! Confronted by a bitchy type, he chewed the dame a new [...]

Hotter and Hotter

The temperature’s a hundred two. I feel like I’m on fire. It seems there’s little left to do But crank the AC higher, Releasing extra greenhouse gas And heat the world to cool my ass. 

Summer Recipe

A quick, easy treat for the summery weather: Mix flour and sugar and butter together, Then add in a couple of eggs, slightly beaten, A dash of vanilla to flavor and sweeten Plus soda for making the batter less heavy. Then bake in the back of a ’69 Chevy.  

Canon Fodder

Pachelbel composed a ditty, Quite a catchy little strain, Hummable and rather pretty, Apt to drive you clear insane! Now he’s lying six feet under. Centuries have come and gone Since we’ve seen that one-hit wonder, Yet his earworm lingers on.

Secular Humanist

I’m not the most religious sort. From church I’ve held aloof. Where others trust in providence, I kind of want some proof. As yet I’ve never been reborn, Though some may think it sad. So if you tell me, “Eat, pray, love,” Well, two of three ain’t bad!

You Know Who You Are…

Dear Facebook friend, your latest post Is even more obscure than most. You start it with a cryptic “You,” Which begs the reader’s question, “Who?” What follows then, oblique, abstruse, Makes Pynchon look like Dr. Seuss! It’s obfuscation at its best. Am I supposed to be impressed?