Friday, February 26, 2010
I used to have a playful cat
Who’d tear around the house.
He used to be an acrobat,
But now he’s older, rather fat.
He’d barely move to make his scat,
Much less to chase a mouse.
He sleeps all day without a care.
Perhaps he’s onto something there!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Bathroom cell phone talker guy,
What customs are you living by?
The subject of your chatter
is of no concern to me.
Ensconced within a public stall,
You think it’s cool to make a call?
It’s frankly quite distracting
when I’m trying hard to pee!
Bathroom cell phone talker guy,
Is this the time for saying hi?
Is yapping while you’re crapping
how you get your [...]
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
The locker room’s my personal lyceum.
I overhear great insights and opinion.
I’ve learned what’s hot at Ripley’s Wax Museum;
That President Obama is a Kenyan;
That Marnie has great knockers (you should see ‘em!);
That climate change is part of man’s dominion.
From hanging where this class of genius gabs,
My brain is now as awesome as my abs!
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Obama’s summit on the hill
Will soon be televised,
While right and left debate his bill
With motives undisguised.
Now underneath this microscope
They may show more veracity.
But let’s just say I’m not a dope.
As much as I would love to hope,
I haven’t the audacity!
Monday, February 22, 2010
An Olympian named Scotty
Caused a scandal in Vancouver
When he let a local hottie
Give his bronze the Happy Hoover.
Though the champions of our nations
Should behave with more respect,
Still it’s hard to fight temptations
When your lanyard is erect!
Friday, February 19, 2010
An order of McNuggets
is a scientific feast
With a wide array of phosphates
and an extract made from yeast.
There are mono- and diglycerides
plus starch to make them thicken.
And maybe if you’re lucky,
there’s a molecule of chicken!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Lindsey Vonn, Lindsey Vonn,
You have got it going on!
You’re superbly inspirational to see!
You can strike a perfect pose
With a minimum of clothes,
And from what I’m hearing, you can even ski!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
What misery is on display
From Tutankhamun’s DNA!
It seems that life for poor King Tut
Was royal pain in royal butt!
His foot was clubbed, his palate cleft,
His gait was awkward, not too deft,
His bod was scrawny and malarial.
At least he had an awesome burial!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
How painful to bid you goodbye, Evan Bayh,
Your pals in the Senate could cry!
Obama’s perspiring
To hear you’re retiring.
To tell you the truth, so am I!
Pelosi and Reid, how they sigh, Evan Bayh,
The Dems need a moderate guy!
Their momentum is slowing.
The tea party’s growing.
How painful to bid you goodbye!
Monday, February 15, 2010
I know a guy named Spiro.
He’s a wizard with a gyro.
He’s a total gyro hero
When he serves his awesome eats.
They’re succulent and leaky
‘Cause they’re slathered with tzatziki.
They’re magnificently Greek-y
With their blend of herbs and meats!
You’d have to be a zero
Not to love a Spiro gyro.
Even tough guys like De Niro
Can’t resist his kind of meal.
Topped [...]