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Monthly Archives: February 2010

No-Fuss Gus

I used to have a playful cat Who’d tear around the house. He used to be an acrobat, But now he’s older, rather fat. He’d barely move to make his scat, Much less to chase a mouse. He sleeps all day without a care. Perhaps he’s onto something there!

Doody Call

Bathroom cell phone talker guy, What customs are you living by? The subject of your chatter is of no concern to me. Ensconced within a public stall, You think it’s cool to make a call? It’s frankly quite distracting when I’m trying hard to pee! Bathroom cell phone talker guy, Is this the time for [...]

The Free University

The locker room’s my personal lyceum. I overhear great insights and opinion. I’ve learned what’s hot at Ripley’s Wax Museum; That President Obama is a Kenyan; That Marnie has great knockers (you should see ‘em!); That climate change is part of man’s dominion. From hanging where this class of genius gabs, My brain is now [...]

Kill Bill

Obama’s summit on the hill Will soon be televised, While right and left debate his bill With motives undisguised. Now underneath this microscope They may show more veracity. But let’s just say I’m not a dope. As much as I would love to hope, I haven’t the audacity!

Medallatio

An Olympian named Scotty Caused a scandal in Vancouver When he let a local hottie Give his bronze the Happy Hoover. Though the champions of our nations Should behave with more respect, Still it’s hard to fight temptations When your lanyard is erect!

Frankenfood

An order of McNuggets is a scientific feast With a wide array of phosphates and an extract made from yeast. There are mono- and diglycerides plus starch to make them thicken. And maybe if you’re lucky, there’s a molecule of chicken!

Golden Girl

Lindsey Vonn, Lindsey Vonn, You have got it going on! You’re superbly inspirational to see! You can strike a perfect pose With a minimum of clothes, And from what I’m hearing, you can even ski!

It’s Bad to Be the King

What misery is on display From Tutankhamun’s DNA! It seems that life for poor King Tut Was royal pain in royal butt! His foot was clubbed, his palate cleft, His gait was awkward, not too deft, His bod was scrawny and malarial. At least he had an awesome burial!

Buh-Bayh!

How painful to bid you goodbye, Evan Bayh, Your pals in the Senate could cry! Obama’s perspiring To hear you’re retiring. To tell you the truth, so am I! Pelosi and Reid, how they sigh, Evan Bayh, The Dems need a moderate guy! Their momentum is slowing. The tea party’s growing. How painful to bid [...]

The Glory that is Grease

I know a guy named Spiro. He’s a wizard with a gyro. He’s a total gyro hero When he serves his awesome eats. They’re succulent and leaky ‘Cause they’re slathered with tzatziki. They’re magnificently Greek-y With their blend of herbs and meats! You’d have to be a zero Not to love a Spiro gyro. Even [...]