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Monthly Archives: January 2010

R.I.P., Which is Really Just a Thing People Say

A bunch of phony hotshots have been praising Mr. Salinger. They say he was a genius with no literary challenger. But really they’re no better than those idiots who banned the book And other goddamn phonies who pretend to understand the book. But still it’s pointless anyway to make a major stink of it, Or [...]

The Speech in Brief

Real tough year.  Hope’s not dead. Must unite and move ahead! Crisis loomed, big recession. Had to act, avoid depression. Things improved, not enough. Middle class still has it rough. Jobs bill needed right away. On my desk without delay! We cut taxes!  (Awkward pause) Thought that line would get applause! Health reform not much [...]

A Rhymester’s Lament

For seventeen years I’ve been doggedly rhyming. I’ve worked on perfecting my rhythm and timing. I’ve written in anapests, iambs and trochees For various readers from scholars to Okies! I’ve memorized Seuss for his wit and his beat. I’ve sat at Shel Silverstein’s metrical feet! I’ve tried to be clever and sometimes profound. And what [...]

Pee-Wee’s New Adventure

Hooray for Pee-wee Herman! He’s returned to former glory, bringing Chairry, Globey, Pterri, even Magic Screen and Floory! Mr. Herman had his problems, but his passion’s undeterred, and Conky says that “comeback” is the season’s secret word! The audience is riveted, though just a trifle antsy to see if he succeeds in keeping Johnsony in [...]

Etiquette Lesson Number 1

I’ll never understand at all The troglodytes and tools Who use a public urinal But never learn the rules! The males in our society Observe this social grace. Instead of standing next to me, You leave a freakin’ space!!!

Well Beaten

There’s an egg shortage facing the nation. You can’t get ‘em scrambled or fried. Can’t get ‘em with ham In a Denny’s Grand Slam With a couple of cakes on the side! There’s none at McDonald’s or Wendys Or even the fancier places. There’s simply no egg You can borrow or beg, For it’s all [...]

Grab your tea and party!

Huzzah!  A fine republican has nabbed a Senate seat! That pinko commie health care bill is doomed to face defeat! We don’t need meddling government to act as our protector. We’d rather take our shaftings from the good old private sector!

El Gordo y el Taco

There’s a new and trendy diet And I think I’d like to try it ‘Cause it doesn’t sound a bit like diet hell. It’s a health-promoting menu At a fitness-conscious venue That nutritionists all know as Taco Bell. There are Items One through Seven And you’ll think you’ve gone to heaven If you’re into chicken [...]

A Midwinter’s Daydream

In the snows of Kansas City Life is gray and rather gritty And the wind chill often drops to one degree. So I’d travel quite a distance For a tropical existence By the warm and wavy waters of the sea! I would pack my tanning lotion And I’d seek the placid ocean, Leave the bustle, [...]

A Beautiful Dream

Valleys exalted, mountains made low, Waters of justice that rush and flow Like a mighty river or gushing spring, This was the dream of Doctor King. Righteousness rolling in thundering waves That the sons of owners and sons of slaves Together might work and pray and sing, This was the dream of Doctor King. Peace [...]