A bunch of phony hotshots
have been praising Mr. Salinger.
They say he was a genius
with no literary challenger.
But really they’re no better
than those idiots who banned the book
And other goddamn phonies
who pretend to understand the book.
But still it’s pointless anyway
to make a major stink of it,
Or anything whatever
when you really stop to think of it.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Real tough year. Hope’s not dead.
Must unite and move ahead!
Crisis loomed, big recession.
Had to act, avoid depression.
Things improved, not enough.
Middle class still has it rough.
Jobs bill needed right away.
On my desk without delay!
We cut taxes! (Awkward pause)
Thought that line would get applause!
Health reform not much fun.
Dudes, we gotta get it done!
Deficit (not my fault)
Need to [...]
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
For seventeen years I’ve been doggedly rhyming.
I’ve worked on perfecting my rhythm and timing.
I’ve written in anapests, iambs and trochees
For various readers from scholars to Okies!
I’ve memorized Seuss for his wit and his beat.
I’ve sat at Shel Silverstein’s metrical feet!
I’ve tried to be clever and sometimes profound.
And what gets an audience? ”Pants On the Ground!”
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Hooray for Pee-wee Herman!
He’s returned to former glory,
bringing Chairry, Globey, Pterri,
even Magic Screen and Floory!
Mr. Herman had his problems,
but his passion’s undeterred,
and Conky says that “comeback”
is the season’s secret word!
The audience is riveted,
though just a trifle antsy
to see if he succeeds in keeping
Johnsony in Pantsy!
I’ll never understand at all
The troglodytes and tools
Who use a public urinal
But never learn the rules!
The males in our society
Observe this social grace.
Instead of standing next to me,
You leave a freakin’ space!!!
There’s an egg shortage facing the nation.
You can’t get ‘em scrambled or fried.
Can’t get ‘em with ham
In a Denny’s Grand Slam
With a couple of cakes on the side!
There’s none at McDonald’s or Wendys
Or even the fancier places.
There’s simply no egg
You can borrow or beg,
For it’s all on the Democrats’ faces.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Huzzah! A fine republican
has nabbed a Senate seat!
That pinko commie health care bill
is doomed to face defeat!
We don’t need meddling government
to act as our protector.
We’d rather take our shaftings
from the good old private sector!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
There’s a new and trendy diet
And I think I’d like to try it
‘Cause it doesn’t sound a bit like diet hell.
It’s a health-promoting menu
At a fitness-conscious venue
That nutritionists all know as Taco Bell.
There are Items One through Seven
And you’ll think you’ve gone to heaven
If you’re into chicken tacos (and you are).
You can scarf a bean [...]
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
In the snows of Kansas City
Life is gray and rather gritty
And the wind chill often drops to one degree.
So I’d travel quite a distance
For a tropical existence
By the warm and wavy waters of the sea!
I would pack my tanning lotion
And I’d seek the placid ocean,
Leave the bustle, the commotion and the strife.
Then I’d swim with [...]
Valleys exalted, mountains made low,
Waters of justice that rush and flow
Like a mighty river or gushing spring,
This was the dream of Doctor King.
Righteousness rolling in thundering waves
That the sons of owners and sons of slaves
Together might work and pray and sing,
This was the dream of Doctor King.
Peace triumphant, discord stayed,
America’s promise fully paid.
From every mountain, [...]