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Monthly Archives: January 2009

Total Exhaustion

Forgive the tiny rhyme today.   Last night my brain was dead. I needed half a Red Bull    just to drag my ass to bed!  

Au Revoir, Mr. Coffee!

Giving up caffeine is worth the trouble. At least that’s what the leading experts say. Your mind is clear, your energy is double (As soon as all the headaches fade away). Without the morning pick-me-up at seven, Your body doesn’t crash by nine or ten. And best of all, it’s absolutely heaven The moment that [...]

A Friendly Reminder from the IT Group

Your alphanumerical password’s expired, The one that you’ve used since the day you were hired. You’ll need a replacement.  It’s got to be strong, At minimum, seventy characters long. It can’t be an actual word or a phrase Like “bite_me,” “disgruntled” or “gimme_a_raise.” It can’t be the name of your cute little kitten, The date [...]

Workout Woe

I hate the gym in January! Fighting crowds is extra hard When every Tom and Dick and Harry, Every Marsha, Meg and Mary, Every Curly, Moe and Larry Vows to shed that Christmas lard!  It’s better once a month rolls by And all their resolutions die.  

Found Verse #1

Found in the restroom at Great Clips in Roeland Park, Kansas: If u sprinkle  when u tinkle, Be sweet and wipe the seat!   

I Could Totally Do That

I think I may take up parkour. It has a certain raw allure. It seems to be the sport du jour,   And how hard can it be? So what’s so tough?  You vault, you run, You jump from rooftops.  Looks like fun! In YouTube clips I’ve seen it done   By dumber guys than me!  

Christmas Ate my Homework!

The holidays were overbooked With hasty packing, plane connections, Shopping, shipping, dinners cooked, And rushed, last-minute gift selections. Time, it seems, just blew right by. I can’t imagine where it went! And that, my pushy friend, is why I haven’t read the book you sent.    

Grammatical Gripe #4

From supermarket circulars   to little private notes, There’s a rampant epidemic   of unnecessary quotes!  Beware of “dog,” the placard warns.   No “Loitering.”  ”Wet” Paint. The coffee’s “Fresh ‘N’ Tasty.”   (Are they hinting that it ain’t?) For those who find it “difficult”   I’ll “try” to make it “plain.” Quotations aren’t for emphasis.   Now get that through [...]

The Frugal Oenophile

I’ve sampled rare, expensive wines   from Napa and Bordeaux. I’ve sipped the finest Chardonnay,   the priciest Pinot. But I prefer a humbler grape,   and lately I’m in luck. I’ve found, to my immense delight,   a wine called Two Buck Chuck! It’s got an unpretentious charm   as connoisseurs agree, With subtle notes of something called   ”affordability.” [...]