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Monthly Archives: November 2008

The Most Challenging Meal of the Day

When eating over-easy eggs, Perfection is the goal. The whites must be disposed of first, The yolks then swallowed whole. The expertise that this demands Is hard to overstate. But you who don’t acquire the skill Are doomed to wash the plate.  

Delicate Palate

My pricey vintage cabernet Has hints of pepper, so they say. It’s jammy with a trace of cherry, Raisin, plum and elderberry. You may detect some overtones Of lightly toasted, buttered scones Or marmelade with fresh-made crepes. I kind of miss the taste of grapes.  

I Can Haz a Break?

In ur hamper!  On ur sheetz! In ur sammich, eatin’ meatz! “I haz powerz!” “I haz style!” It wuz cute 4 little while. Gettin’ kinda old?  An’ how! Can kittehs pleez B ovr now?  

It’s Still the Ecology, Stupid!

I tried a low-flow toilet once,   A greener kind of loo. It didn’t do a first-rate job.   (I’d rank it Number Two!) I applaud the good intentions,   Yet I stand by my critique: The spirit may be willing,   But the flush is all too weak!  

It’s the Ecology, Stupid!

The neighborhood recycling guys Won’t pick up paper, tin or glass. My aging furnace takes the prize For mass-producing greenhouse gas. My car can’t seem to get the hang Of saving precious gasoline. As someone very wise once sang, It’s not so easy being green!  

Buy My Book!

My holiday gift book Christmas Unwrapped has been published by Andrews McMeel and is available through their web site or Amazon! The publisher says: “This hilarious collection contains 47 original poems including ‘Battle in the Burbs,’ ‘Ad Nauseam,’ and ‘Maim That Tune’ alongside playful seasonal imagery.  Emmons’ work is guaranteed to ignite the spirit of Christmas, [...]

SO Last Election Cycle

I’m living in a backward state As this example renders plain. The guy next door, at this late date, Still has a sign for John McCain.  

Technological Wonders

When I was little, maybe two or three, Some time before I reached the age of reason, I thought that people lived in our TV And new ones came along with each new season. Today I’m grown, but not that much astuter And naked people live in my computer.  

Solution for Large Hecticness of Today

Much conflicting schedule now. Overbook a mess. Every busy all at once. Lead to super stress. Too much businesses I have. Many lacks of time. Make decision corners cut. Today I outsource rhyme!  

Bleeding Economic Indicators

The GDP is shrinking. The market’s in the tank. The warning lights are blinking At every major bank. Recession’s looming larger. The signs are quite prodigious. Our money says, “In God We Trust.” But me, I’m not religious.