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Monthly Archives: September 2008

Gus’s World 2

Nap Decision It’s not so very hard to choose The perfect place to take a snooze. The bed, the couch, a cushioned chair, A comfy pile of underwear, A closet full of cozy nooks, A bit of shelf between two books, The living room, the den, the hall, Or really, anyplace at all.    

Noch Eine Kleine Musik

“A French museum has found a previously unknown piece of music handwritten by Mozart, a researcher said Thursday.” –Associated Press    They’ve found a new number by Mozart! An opus that’s never been heard! A remarkable find, The best of its kind Since the Beatles with “Free as a Bird!” But alas for the genius [...]

Seismic Shift

“With economic anxiety rising, Republican John McCain and Democrat Barack Obama scrambled Wednesday to adjust their messages to connect more directly with financially struggling voters.” –Associated Press  As candidates address the news,   it’s really rather comic How suddenly their talking points   are largely economic. As both crank out competing plans   to halt the market’s slide, [...]

Fun with Finance

In the wake of the bubble, Investments are trouble.   A nest egg can instantly perish. The Lehmans and Merrill Succumbed to the peril   And Stearns is no longer so Bear-ish! So what should one do With a dollar or two?   To be perfectly honest and frank, Most any casino In Vegas or Reno   Is safer [...]

Retail Revolution

To all you merchants hawking goods   from DVDs to spices: You’re hacking off your customers,   so here’s what my advice is. I know you’re dense in this regard, But listen up.  It’s not so hard. Forget the stupid discount card   and give us decent prices!  

Weak-End Fun

Yesterday I did some shopping: Milk and eggs and taco shells. Then a little bathroom mopping. (Just enough to kill the smells.) Did some jobs I couldn’t shirk, Like washing underwear and socks. Damn, I’m glad I’m back at work! Compared to Sunday, Monday rocks!  

Rich, Creamy Badness

Smack and crack and even wine Have ruined countless lives.  Not mine! The most addictive thing I know Is Häagen-Dazs with cookie dough. It started early in my youth. (My reckless youth, to tell the truth!) For kicks I did some cups and cones. Before too long I had a jones. I’d stash a carton [...]

Tele-Torture

To hear all options, please press one. Then press the pound sign just for fun. For cheesy tunes, try pressing nine Or five (another music line). To give yourself a change of pace, For español opprima seis! For senseless, random beeps, press four. Press eight to sit and wait some more. To hear this list [...]

Grammatical Gripe #1

I’d rather shave a feral cat   or eat a roach soufflé, I’d rather tell a biker dude   his skull tattoo is gay. I’d rather birth an elephant   without an epidural Than see a damned apostrophe   disfiguring a plural!  

Retour de Lance

“Lance Armstrong is ready to… climb back on the bike and win an eighth Tour de France.”  If I were Lance, I’d still tour France, But not so fast. I’d make it last. I’d cruise with grace At steady pace From bar to bar. And in a car.