They’re either too tart
or a little too mellow.
They’re greener than green
or they’re way beyond yellow!
They’re just past their prime
or they’re close, but not quite.
Bananas are never just right!
Saturday, August 30, 2008
A bunch of the boys were chewin’ the fat
On the old Straight Talk Express.
They’d scoured each state for a running mate
Who’d look damn good in a dress.
But poor Tom Ridge was built like a fridge
And Pawlenty just left ‘em wailin’.
So they dropped ‘em clean for a beauty queen
By the name of Sarah Palin.
She hailed from [...]
We live in a truly historical age.
In my book, the nation has turned a new page.
To think in mere months I could very well see
A guy in the White House who’s younger than me!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Observe the fate of Hill and Bill.
They’ve swallowed such a bitter pill!
To see the way those two campaigned,
You’d think success was preordained.
But then Barack, the boy sensation,
Snatched away the nomination!
Now back-to-back they’ve praised their man,
Admitting humbly, “Yes, he can!”
They’ve said he’s ready – just the Dem
to take that call at three a.m.
They’ve done it for [...]
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
The boomer consumer,
according to rumor,
is rarely if ever
the target of ads.
Execs want the younger
consumers who hunger
for trendy new products
that fit with the fads.
The boomer consumer
is shunned like a tumor!
Though no gloom-and-doomer,
I think this is rash.
Today’s corporations
chase new generations,
while boomers quite happily
have all the cash!
Barack’s like you, so have no fear!
He loves his country, likes cold beer.
His family never had much dough.
(He had a single mom, you know.)
His background’s slightly odd, but wait–
Hawaii’s just another state!
At basketball the dude’s got game.
So just ignore the weird-ass name!
It happened in the Seventies,
Before the age of SUVs,
That gasoline grew scarce and super-pricey.
Back then we wisely gave the axe
To Continentals, Cadillacs,
And other cars that made our budgets dicey.
But just as things began to ease,
We snapped up Jeep Grand Cherokees
And Hummers half the size of Monaco.
And now, of course, it’s deja vu.
There’s nothing left for [...]
Good Senator Biden, it’s no time for hidin’
your vaunted experience, passion and grit.
I hardly need mention, at this year’s convention
you’ve got to be stellar, a bona-fide hit!
There’s quite a lot ridin’ on you, Mr. Biden.
Obama’s been slidin’. McCain’s on the go.
The Dems are expecting a guy worth electing –
In short, an extremely above-average Joe!
Saturday, August 23, 2008
On Roe, a nearby avenue,
I’ve made a friend. I call him Stu.
His somber face and bulging eye
Unnerve the average passerby.
But Stu and I just seem to mesh,
Although he’s stone and I am flesh.
Observe the many traits we share:
Our pensive air; our piercing stare;
A lack of flair in what we wear;
Our oh-so-slightly thinning hair.
While others get [...]