Skip to content

Category Archives: Hot Topics

Prophet Motive

O great Mr. Silver! O marvelous Nate! Infallible wizard of FiveThirtyEight! You blew all our minds with the stats you were droppin’ And left the Republicans wailing, “Wha’ happen?” But honestly, now that you’re on such a roll, Why stop at some boring political poll? I’m dying to hear your oracular views On pork belly [...]

Odd Couple

In Sandy’s destruction, Obama and Christie Share tender embraces. Their eyes have gone misty. The chemistry’s stronger than brother with brother. You know that they’re giddily texting each other! There’s bliss in the air, there’s a bromance in bloom. Obama and Christie, my God, get a room!

Well, That Was Quick!

Progress marches on and on. What’s here today is swiftly gone. The Model T has seen its day, And VHS is now passé. Each day the pace is faster still. If something hasn’t changed, it will! I blinked my eyes. I missed a beat. And now my iPad’s obsolete.

Hot Fitness Trend

In the far northeastern states, Some are fond of lifting weights, While a few prefer aerobics when they train. But for hardy exercising That’ll get their heart rates rising, Well, they really love their Zumba up in Maine! They never train alone, And they often grunt and groan, Though they seem to get their gain [...]

Free Fall

Leap from a pod at the border of space? Plunge back to Earth at a dizzying pace? Recover control after tumbling around, Then shatter Mach 1 to go faster than sound? Survive by diminishing gravity’s pull On a chute and a prayer and a shot of Red Bull? A daredevil does what a daredevil’s got [...]

Herding Cats

Alas for Mr. Lehrer! Moderating was a terror! His attempts to curb the candidates were very seldom heard. They’d meander and delay, Adding “I’d just like to say,” Or a little more aggressively, “I get the final word!” With the questions open-ended, They were cocky and long-winded. He would try to keep them focused, but [...]

Mr. Fix-It

When the votes are all counted and I’ve become boss, I’ll govern with wisdom and brains. I’ll scrap aviation’s absurd regulations And roll down the windows on planes! The eggheads and liberals pooh-pooh my plan. They say it’s not “prudent” or “bright.” But folks, I’m no stranger to that sort of danger, And that’s why [...]

Bad Idea

If you ever pet a resting cat And take it by surprise, It rips your flesh with razor teeth, It scratches out your eyes. It pauses then to whet its claws, But soon attacks again. And that is why we never jump inside a tiger’s den!

Whole Grain Badness

I’ve tried my best to eat for health, but now I’ve paid the price. According to the latest news, there’s arsenic in rice! I’ve kept my fiber intake high, I have since I was ten. And only to be murdered by the likes of Uncle Ben! From here on out, I’ll live on fries and [...]

The Newer Testament

An intriguing new papyrus from a text on Jesus’ life suggests the possibility he may have had a wife. Perhaps she even pestered him when low on loaves and fishes. “Turn that wine back into water,” she would say, “and do the dishes!” Though a carpenter, his home repairs would linger on and on. If [...]