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Category Archives: Celebrities

Call Me Conflicted.

Dear Caitlyn, congrats on your bold transformation! You’re rocking the cover of Vanity Fair! And yet I applaud you with some hesitation For (pardon the metaphor) growing a pair. Because of your courage, your goose is ungandered, Your Mickey is Minnied, your guyhood is girled. But your beauty has set an impossible standard For all [...]

PSYcle of Fame

When your song’s the new sensation And your video’s gone viral, When you’ve rocketed to global fame, Beware the downward spiral! If you think the praise and accolades Will last for quite a while, Your forgotten past will soon come back To screw you, Gangnam style! Now perhaps you spoke in anger Or you’d had [...]

Royal Pain

The pride of the duchess is battered and bruised. The princes are shocked, and the Queen’s not amused. They swear that Great Britain has gone down the tubes, For the masses have peeked at Kate Middleton’s boobs! The nobles, the commons, and even ex-suitors Have all had a gander at Middleton’s hooters. It does her [...]

Bad Element

The Queen in a hoodie is trouble, it’s plain. She’ll mug you on sight, and she’ll bring royal pain! She loiters in London with criminal malice. She tweaks the guards’ noses at Buckingham Palace! She’s ruthless and brutal, the whole enchilada. I bet she could whack the whole Spanish Armada! It’s scary when elderly royals [...]

Hope Those Buns Aren’t Loaded!

He’s a buck nekkid outlaw, You can tell at a glance That he likes rotgut whiskey And don’t like no pants. He gets wrecked when he’s drivin’ Like outlaws will do, With his Waylon cranked up And his Willie in view. The buck nekkid outlaw Is ornery and mean, A bad-tempered cuss And a little [...]

Wha’ Happen???

Mr. Willard, Mr. Willard, You’re a ballsy dude, no doubt. That was quite some crazy improv When you whipped your Guffman out! Are there even public theaters For skin flicks anymore? Did those puppets never teach you What the Internet is for? There are bound to be some questions, As your fans will all be [...]