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Category Archives: philosophy

Zeno’s Excuse

To make my way to gym from chair, I first must travel halfway there. If chair is A and gym is C, I’ll have to get halfway to B! The stages then become so small, I logically can’t move at all. So here I sit, in shorts and socks. By Zeus, I love a paradox!

The Thinking Man’s Drink

There was scintillating brilliance in the era of Voltaire. The spark of the Enlightenment was somehow in the air. The philosophes would gather in a neighborhood café, Where they’d then proceed to jack their brains on fifty cups a day! They were scientists and thinkers, intellectual machines! And they owed it to the potion from [...]

Finding Comfort

The world is a harsh, inhospitable place. It’s a kick in the gut and a slap in the face! A festering cesspool of sorrow, despair, And constant reminders that life isn’t fair. A nightmarish prison of angst and ennui, Where Hamlet’s decision’s a clear “NOT to be!” And yet, when it seems that I simply [...]

Attic Antics

Though Plato’s rad Academy admittedly was cool, Aristotle’s sweet Lyceum was the bigger party school! There were bacchanals and orgies where they’d drink their vessels dry. There was horny dialectic with the babes of Delta Pi! They would moon the rhetoricians. They were impudent and lewd. “Symposium!” they’d holler, which is Greek for “Party, dude!” [...]

Seeing the Light

I once was sympathetic to the nation’s working poor. I was troubled that the hungry numbered millions, maybe more. I naively thought the government should lend a helping hand. But I’ve since become enlightened, for I’ve read the works of Rand! I’ve learned that if you’re needy, it’s your own pathetic fault. You’re a parasite, [...]

Burma Shave for Intellectuals

Nietzsche’s frau was not so merry Because her Mensch was über-hairy. –Burma Shave Parmenides was loath to see His stubbly growth could not not-be. –Burma Shave Einstein was no navel-gazer. He often borrowed Occam’s razor. –Burma Shave A rough-cheeked reasoner’s big rant: “I try to score with babes, but Kant!” –Burma Shave Sartre loved madame’s [...]