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Category Archives: Technology

Out with the Deadwood

The path is cleared for innovation: Artificial cogitation, Robot servants, flying cars, Starbucks on the moon and Mars! A new 4-D computer screen, Phones that deconstruct Bakhtin! The future, brought to you by Mac. Jobs was holding Apple back!


The floor’s unswept, the bed’s unmade, I’ve left the yard work incomplete. My past-due bills are still unpaid. My laundry smells like rancid feet. The bathtub has a leaky tap. The cat box overflows with turds. But I give less than half a crap. I’ve leveled up in Angry Birds!

You Talkin’ to Me?

Solo public talker dude, I feel I know you well. You miss your mom in Kankakee. You last got laid in ’93. Your recent colonoscopy Was undiluted hell. One detail, though, is rather hazy: Are you on Bluetooth, or just crazy?

The Kindle Song

(To the tune of “I Have a Little Dreidel”) I bought a little Kindle From Amazon Dot Com. It looks so cool and shiny, My Kindle is da bomb! Oh Kindle, Kindle, Kindle In dull metallic gray, As soon as I have charged it, With Kindle I will play! With Chaucer, Keats and Shakespeare, What [...]

App Fatigue

Perhaps you stayed up half the night To get your smart phone working right, Or maybe you were playing games  Or generating rock band names Or harvesting your Farmville fruit Or making Zwinkies extra cute Or wasting time on Google Chat. Exhausted?  There’s a nap for that!

Vade Mecum

My laptop is my constant friend. It’s with me all the day. It brings me news, The Onion’s views, And ads for Tanqueray. I revel in the clever apps It easily installs. Yet I still can’t help but wonder What it’s doing to my balls.

This Is Your Brain on Technology

Neurologists have diagnosed a loss of concentration As gadgetry rewires our brains for byte-size information. Forget Recherche du Temps Perdu, Ulysses, Moby Dick… Our atrophied attention spans will leave us much too thick! So next time, give the Net a miss. Unless, of course, you’re reading this. 

Future Sticker Shock

They said that in the future  we’d be driving flying cars; We’d have robotic butlers and vacation homes on Mars; We’d travel at the speed of light on zippy little scooters. But mostly we just buy the latest cell phones and computers. With every new advance, I feel a bit more apprehensive. The Internet is [...]

Fine Print

Informer, adviser, community-shaper, I mourn the demise of the old-fashioned paper. It uses up trees and the ink often runs, But you can’t line a bird cage with zeros and ones!

Instrument of Evil

It eats the page; it’s always out of ink. It clatters like a ’60 Chevy van. It flashes lights to say, “I’m on the blink!” Whenever I’ve a document to scan. It’s engineered to torture souls, I think, By demons or perhaps the Taliban! It mocks me when I think I’ve got it mastered. My [...]