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Category Archives: Pop Culture

Takei Curious

I’m not a big celebrity Or star of stage and screen. You’ll never see my causes hyped In “People” magazine. I’ve got no flair for drama And I like myself that way, But I still can’t help but wonder What it’s like to be Takei! I’d be charming, I’d be witty, Never nasty, crass or [...]

Brand-Name Rhymes: A Collection

1. Crocker Shocker! To bakers, Betty Crocker Is the sweetheart of the nation, But among her friends and neighbors She’s acquired a reputation! Any loser with a logo Gets a piece of Betty’s pie, From the buff and beefy Brawny To the Quaker Oatmeal guy! She’s dallied in the valley With a giant dude who’s [...]

Comedy Classic

You may laugh at current comics Like O’Brien and Gervais. You may love the Kathy Griffins, Lewis Blacks and Tina Feys. But if comedy’s your passion, Then you really ought to know Of the brilliant comic genius Of the great Bazooka Joe! He’s been around forever, But he’s still a funny guy, Superbly hip and [...]

Why They Call It Dope

You can keep your marijuana, Crystal meth and belladonna, Your peyote and your booze and benzedrine. I don’t need a needle, bong or Rolling paper any longer, ‘Cause I’m high on something stronger. It’s a drug called Charlie Sheen! Look upon me and despair! I can strafe your underwear! I’m the baddest S.O.B. you’ve ever [...]

Out-Of-This-World Goodness

A skinny, scrawny alien, A wiry little wisp, Came bearing peace and cereal. His name, of course, was Quisp. He brought us healthful vitamins From A on down through D, And his added shot of sugar Gave us Quazy Energy! It was shaped like flying saucers, Not some dull and boring flake. (Though it’s possible [...]

A Rhymester’s Lament

For seventeen years I’ve been doggedly rhyming. I’ve worked on perfecting my rhythm and timing. I’ve written in anapests, iambs and trochees For various readers from scholars to Okies! I’ve memorized Seuss for his wit and his beat. I’ve sat at Shel Silverstein’s metrical feet! I’ve tried to be clever and sometimes profound. And what [...]

20 Years, 450 Episodes, and Counting!

They gave us “D’oh,” the Flaming Moe, and Duff’s delicious brew, Mr. Plow, “Don’t have a cow,” McBain and Snowball II, The wit of Bart, the Quik-E-Mart, and Brockman’s news reports. A world without the Simpsons?  Hey, I’d rather eat my shorts!

The Shout Heard Round Hollywood

A certain Private Wilhelm bit the dust in ’53 When an Injun shot an arrow and it struck him near the knee. He bellowed out a scream of pain. The rest is history. For somehow Wilhelm’s scream lived on in shrill and shrieking tones. It was heard upon the Death Star and again among the [...]

Alter My Ego!

If I could have an avatar I’d join the Na’vi crew. My spirit would be blissful though my body would be blue. My life would be a tad bizarre if I could have an avatar. I’d learn the ancient customs with a hottie as my guide. I’d choose a flying dinosaur to be my awesome [...]

Fads I’ll Skip

If I were young And rather dumb And goofed on doobies, Gin and rum, And only cared For looking hip, Then maybe I’d Ghost-ride the whip.