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Category Archives: Pop Culture

Farewell, Mr. Spock

Farewell, Mr. Spock. Your demise was a shock. You lived long and prospered, But ran out the clock. We’ll miss your expressions of sheer fascination, Your stoic demeanor of deep contemplation. We solemnly mourn with the whole Federation. We bid you farewell, Mr. Spock. Farewell, Mr. Spock, Whom no Klingon could mock, The sort of [...]

Killer Wheels

I want to buy a Batmobile to cruise around the city. I’ll make those sweet Pirellis squeal while blasting raps by Fitty. The speed alone will be a kick. My friends will say, “Your ride looks sick!” I’ll sure as hell impress that chick who dresses like a kitty! I’ll buzz that dorky Man of [...]

Druthers

I’d rip out all my fingernails. I’d floss my teeth with baling wire. I’d shower in the toughest jails Or set my underwear on fire. I’d swallow wasps to feel the sting. I’d wrestle grizzlies in the wild. I’d rather do most anything Than sit through “Honey Boo-Boo Child!”

My Idol

I wish that I were Honey Badger, Rough and rugged, wild and free. Munching cobras, fighting jackals, What a badass I would be! Sadly, I’m a lowly human, Full of worries, fears and doubts. Is my mortgage underwater? Should I eat more Brussels sprouts? Will the price of gas keep rising? Will it be Barack [...]

Gotta Have It!

I’m eating again at Los Pollos Hermanos. The chicken’s like nothing I’ve tasted before! So spicy and tender, I go on a bender And down a whole bucket, but still I want more! When I first took a taste, it was instant obsession, A powerful habit I just never shook. My insatiable cravings now lead [...]

Language Lover

I’d like to know more Spanish. It’s a lively tongue to speak. I’ve dabbled in Italian, and I still retain some Greek. I’ve even messed with Klingon like a total language nerd, But lately I’ve been picking up a little ERMAHGERD. I’ve learned to say, “GERD MERNING” just from reading basic BERKS. I can order [...]

Wha’ Happen???

Mr. Willard, Mr. Willard, You’re a ballsy dude, no doubt. That was quite some crazy improv When you whipped your Guffman out! Are there even public theaters For skin flicks anymore? Did those puppets never teach you What the Internet is for? There are bound to be some questions, As your fans will all be [...]

Nerd in Paradise

If I had gone to Comic-Con, I’d have my bangin’ Batsuit on. I’d hobnob with a Wookie, Maybe Cookie Monster too. I would witness Frankenweenie Wearing Leia’s brass bikini And I’d meet a fairly recent, Pretty decent Dr. Who. I’d get autographs from Sulu, The Avengers and Cthulu! I could dance with Brad and Janet [...]

Who’s Next?

It’s only days since Andy Griffith passed, Whose folksy humor charmed us on TV. And now that Ernest Borgnine’s breathed his last, The nation wonders who’ll be number three. For Zsa Zsa, truth be told, is fading fast, And Dick Van Dyke must whisper, “Is it me?” In such a situation, who can blame us [...]

Splitsville

Alas for TomKat!  Is it true? Six years ago they said, “I do.” Now Katie’s saying, “Take a hike.” We thought they’d last forever.  Psych!!! The nation’s puzzled as can be. Did Katie meet some guy?  Did HE? Was Stacee Jaxx a bit too real? Did L. Ron Hubbard break the deal? Will some impartial [...]