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Category Archives: Random weirdness

What a Difference a “The” Makes

When a book or a songĀ  or a movie’s a hit, There’s no higher praise than to say it’s “the shit!” Yes, “shit” can mean something quite different from “crap.” The definite article makes it a snap! It’s the magic of language, which simply won’t quit! It’s truly — you guessed it – the absolute [...]

Head Case

My cousin Wayne licks hubcaps. He roofed his house with gypsum. He tries to peddle screenplays That he writes in lorem ipsum. He often goes to Goldman Sachs For sound financial planning. He’s full of great ideas Since he started self-trepanning.

Logorrhea

Today I’ll write of epic wars, Of jelly beans and toffee; Of evil robots, football scores, Of Hitler and Gaddafi. I’ll write of Emerson and Poe, Of Larry, Curly, yes, and Moe, Of Stewart’s brilliant Daily Show, Of Lindsay Lohan snorting blow, Of politicians’ quid pro quo, Of how to tame a Wendigo, And any [...]

Mystery Man

When a face has appeared on a pancake Or a rock or the trunk of a tree With long, flowing hair, A compassionate stare And the tiniest wisp of goatee, The features are haunting yet gentle, And the kindly expression may please us. The picture’s amazing And worthy of praising, But how do you know [...]

Block Head

Fred the Easter Island head Is boorish, rude and quite ill-bred. He belches loudly, snorts and spits. He shouts at tourists, “Show your tits!” He says, with total lack of class, “I’d cut one if I had an ass!” His neighbors wish that they were dead Instead of anchored next to Fred. To their complaints [...]