Friday, September 3, 2010
Dr. Hawking, Dr. Hawking,
Your remarks are truly shocking!
A creator wasn’t needed
For the universe, you say.
Those entities you’re knocking
Don’t take kindly to your mocking.
There’ll be coal inside your stocking
On this coming Christmas Day!
Dr. Hawking, Dr. Hawking,
Hear those theologians squawking!
They’re exclaiming, “Gosh!” and “Darn it!”
(Which is how those fellows swear.)
Just be careful, for you’re liable
To be belted [...]
Two thousand light years distant,
Round a star called Kepler-9
There spins an earth-like planet
Of a promising design.
If higher life’s survived the droughts,
Volcanos and diseases,
It may be full of Starbucks,
Chick-fil-A’s and Chuck E. Cheeses.
Perhaps one day we’ll travel there,
And not to offer battle,
But just to give them anal probes
And mutilate their cattle.
They’ve found a giant hole in space,
Where not a thing exists.
No asteroids, no bug-eyed race,
No cosmic dust or mists.
Its purpose we may never know.
Perhaps it’s where our taxes go.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
An everyday cliché ignores
this scientific datum:
A quantum leap is tiny.
It occurs inside an atom!
So when you need a metaphor
For distance, please recall,
If you “take a quantum leap ahead,”
you haven’t moved at all!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
What misery is on display
From Tutankhamun’s DNA!
It seems that life for poor King Tut
Was royal pain in royal butt!
His foot was clubbed, his palate cleft,
His gait was awkward, not too deft,
His bod was scrawny and malarial.
At least he had an awesome burial!
Some say that all the world’s a stage.
Some think and then conclude, “I am.”
But now a most enlightened sage
Declares, “It’s all a hologram!”
So much for wealth and fame and love!
Though driven types will take it hard,
We’re just the blurred, distorted dove
On someone’s cancelled Visa card.
So carpe diem! Eat and drink!
Be merry! Never give a damn!
We [...]