The Daily Rhyme

There’s little left but gloom and doom
For proper use of “who” and “whom.”
Those using “whom” to show they’re bright
Can never seem to get it right!
The admin, cheerful yet appalling,
Asks politely, “Whom is calling?”
A few applied themselves in school
And say, “Who’s there?” (unlike a fool),
But oh!  What angst the cases cause
When “who” is in a non-main [...]

“Women, who are pregnant,
  shouldn’t use the thermal tub.”
So reads the helpful warning
  at the local fitness club.
So every woman everywhere
  is soon to be a mama?
Unless that’s what you meant to say,
  then LEARN TO USE A COMMA!
 

I’d rather shave a feral cat
  or eat a roach soufflé,
I’d rather tell a biker dude
  his skull tattoo is gay.
I’d rather birth an elephant
  without an epidural
Than see a damned apostrophe
  disfiguring a plural!