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Category Archives: Health and Fitness

Dying to Go Green

Friends, do you have dysentery, Typhoid fever, beriberi, Strep, e. coli, measles, mumps, Strange, unnerving cystic lumps, Gonorrhea, syphilis, The heartbreak of psoriasis, Lyme disease, the plague, rubella, Shingles, jaundice, salmonella, Flu, ebola, meningitis, Spasms rivaling St. Vitus, Whooping cough and puking jags? You should have washed your grocery bags!

This is going to hurt…

Medieval physicians, as history teaches, Would bleed all their patients with razors and leeches. They’d give you a physick to balance your humours, Perhaps a live rat to eradicate tumors. Barbaric techniques, and yet all of them pale When compared to our present-day torture — the scale!

Big Meal

The chefs who’ve prepared The Last Supper Have doubled the mass of their dishes. With their huge appetizers They’re true super-sizers. They’ve multiplied bread loaves and fishes! The disciples are practically bursting, So they gently explain to the waiter, “It’s his body we eat, But by now we’re replete! Can you box up a little [...]

Au Revoir, Mr. Coffee!

Giving up caffeine is worth the trouble. At least that’s what the leading experts say. Your mind is clear, your energy is double (As soon as all the headaches fade away). Without the morning pick-me-up at seven, Your body doesn’t crash by nine or ten. And best of all, it’s absolutely heaven The moment that [...]

Body Language

My body’s craving donuts. The thickly frosted kind. A triple bacon burger too. The biggest I can find. It’s had a ton of cheesecake, But it wants another slice. “Listen to your body” Is absurdly bad advice!