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Category Archives: Halloweenies

Halloweenies 6

Cadmus The naked bones of Cadmus Jones   lie peaceful in his crypt. He mourns his fate, for he was once   robust and well-equipped. Yet hope still springs eternal   in this sorriest of men. He dreams that with Viagra,   his bones may rise again. Illustration by Chris Harding

Halloweenies 5

Monstrous Marriage Milton Henry Cyclops   and Amanda June, his wife, Anticipating married bliss,   had forty years of strife. They had the best intentions,   but no matter how they’d try, They never quite acquired the knack   for seeing eye to eye. Illustration by Chris Harding

Halloweenies 4

Dave Dave is quite the Casanova, Tall and handsome, lean and tan. Cool, disarming, suave and charming, Like a perfect ladies’ man. Players often like them young, But not our more discerning Dave. Never one to rob the cradle, He prefers to rob the grave! Illustration by Chris Harding 

Halloweenies 3

Nancy Nancy was the haunted kind. She had a strangely tortured mind. She dwelled in cancer, AIDS, Ebola; The ill effects of Coca-Cola; The horrors on her TV screen; The future cost of gasoline; The conflicts on the global stage; The weakness sure to come with age. At length her mind was so obsessed, She [...]

Halloweenies 2

Morty Morty the mummy is quick with a curse. But when he’s out driving, it gets even worse. An hour on the freeway will give him conniptions. (A common complaint among undead Egyptians.) He glares at the speeders with venom and scorn. He swears at the slowpokes while pounding his horn. “Get moving!” he bellows. [...]

Halloweenies 1

Boris Boris runs a small café For those whose tastes are très outré. They pay top dollar just to eat His fine, exotic cuts of meat. Their appetites are strange but hearty. Table for the Donner party! Illustration by Chris Harding