Skip to content

Category Archives: Entertainment

PSYcle of Fame

When your song’s the new sensation And your video’s gone viral, When you’ve rocketed to global fame, Beware the downward spiral! If you think the praise and accolades Will last for quite a while, Your forgotten past will soon come back To screw you, Gangnam style! Now perhaps you spoke in anger Or you’d had [...]

The Teleplay’s the Thing!

If Shakespeare were alive today, He’d write for “Mad Men” or “Treme.” His moody Danish prince gone mad Would be some thug in “Breaking Bad.” His “Newsroom” scenes would surely please The fans of long soliloquies. He’d crank out “Cougar Town” for money. (Let’s face it, he was never funny!) Then students, centuries ahead, Would [...]

Druthers

I’d rip out all my fingernails. I’d floss my teeth with baling wire. I’d shower in the toughest jails Or set my underwear on fire. I’d swallow wasps to feel the sting. I’d wrestle grizzlies in the wild. I’d rather do most anything Than sit through “Honey Boo-Boo Child!”

Peace of Mind

Farmers have their crop insurance, Coverage for drought or hail. I could use some joke insurance. Then I’d fear no Humor Fail! When the sudden, mocking silence let me know my line was lame, When the crickets started chirping, Then I’d simply file a claim. Maybe I would bomb on purpose. “You from Joisey?” “Take [...]

Laughter, the Best Depressant

I love me a gut-wrenching comedy show! The kind where the laughs leave me moody and low. A hilarious act full of brilliance and wit, Revealing that human existence is shit! When it comes to guffaws that can ruin my day, I can’t get enough of that Louis C.K.!

Gotta Have It!

I’m eating again at Los Pollos Hermanos. The chicken’s like nothing I’ve tasted before! So spicy and tender, I go on a bender And down a whole bucket, but still I want more! When I first took a taste, it was instant obsession, A powerful habit I just never shook. My insatiable cravings now lead [...]

Responsible Journalism

In yesterday’s Journal I read that the Colonel Improperly fondled an underage hen. The Times is reporting that Snooki’s aborting And Biden’s been out having threesomes again. The Martians have landed, the Senate’s disbanded, And pediatricians now recommend booze. Rhode Island’s seceding.  Gay penguins are breeding. I love when The Onion gets picked up as [...]

Dr. Seuss on Public Radio

I do not like that dreadful show. I would not listen, no, no, NO! I would not listen in my car. I would not listen at a bar. I would not listen out at sea, In Rome, Berlin, or Kankakee! I would not listen night or noon. I would not listen on the moon! I [...]

Cut-Rate Creatures

Humanoids on every planet, Some with Nazi hats and boots; Creatures made of slate or granite; Lizard men in rubber suits! A salt fiend with a grip that sucks; A cloud that feeds on fear and stress. It must have cost a hundred bucks To make a Star Trek TOS!

Rotten Reboot

“Dark Shadows” was a gothic soap That baby boomers dared to hope Would one day reach the movie screens With grander, more horrific scenes. Then skies would brood and ghosts would fly, Enhanced by modern CGI. We’d gasp, we’d tremble, some would shriek. We’d FEEL the wrath of Angelique! And so it seemed a welcome [...]