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Category Archives: Obituary

Who’s Next?

It’s only days since Andy Griffith passed, Whose folksy humor charmed us on TV. And now that Ernest Borgnine’s breathed his last, The nation wonders who’ll be number three. For Zsa Zsa, truth be told, is fading fast, And Dick Van Dyke must whisper, “Is it me?” In such a situation, who can blame us [...]

A Fond Farewell

The news isn’t pretty in Mayberry city. The sheriff’s been called to his post in the sky. But there’s Darlings still pickin’, there’s southern fried chicken With mighty fine taters and fresh apple pie. There’s dates at the diner.  Perhaps a moonshiner Will turn up for church or for fishin’ at dawn. There’s criminal-trackin’ and [...]

The Last Sing-Along

(To the tune of “Poor Jud is Dead“) Poor Mitch is dead, poor Mitch Miller’s dead. His hour is up, he’s sung his final song. The mourners chant a dirge, And perhaps he has the urge, But being dead, he cannot sing along. Poor Mitch is dead, now let the tears be shed. He’s gone [...]

Who’s Next?

Coleman ain’t talkin’ ’bout nothin’ no more, And Hopper has kicked, so I’ve heard. Should others now worry, Say Cher or Tim Curry? Or does Linkletter count at the third?                    

R.I.P., Which is Really Just a Thing People Say

A bunch of phony hotshots have been praising Mr. Salinger. They say he was a genius with no literary challenger. But really they’re no better than those idiots who banned the book And other goddamn phonies who pretend to understand the book. But still it’s pointless anyway to make a major stink of it, Or [...]

In Memoriam: Bettie Page

The bell has tolled for Bettie Page, The hottest vixen of her age. Of all the nation’s pin-up babes,   there wasn’t any cuter. Her fans from 1955 Exalt her if they’re still alive, Though now they need a little pill   before they can salute her!  

In Memoriam: Paul Newman

“Farewell to Mr. Newman!”   cries the nation with a groan. As an actor and a human   he could move a heart of stone. While his “Hud” could be distressing, In “The Sting” he kept us guessing. If your salad needs a dressing,   what compares with Newman’s Own? Hats off to Mr. Newman!   Bells in Tinseltown [...]