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Category Archives: Obituary

The Last Sing-Along

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

(To the tune of “Poor Jud is Dead“)
Poor Mitch is dead, poor Mitch Miller’s dead.
His hour is up, he’s sung his final song.
The mourners chant a dirge,
And perhaps he has the urge,
But being dead, he cannot sing along.
Poor Mitch is dead, now let the tears be shed.
He’s gone where men wear neatly-trimmed goatees,
Where a little [...]

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Who’s Next?

Monday, May 31, 2010

Coleman ain’t talkin’ ’bout nothin’ no more,
And Hopper has kicked, so I’ve heard.
Should others now worry,
Say Cher or Tim Curry?
Or does Linkletter count at the third?
                   

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R.I.P., Which is Really Just a Thing People Say

Friday, January 29, 2010

A bunch of phony hotshots
have been praising Mr. Salinger.
They say he was a genius
with no literary challenger.
But really they’re no better
than those idiots who banned the book
And other goddamn phonies
who pretend to understand the book.
But still it’s pointless anyway
to make a major stink of it,
Or anything whatever
when you really stop to think of it.

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In Memoriam: Bettie Page

Saturday, December 13, 2008

The bell has tolled for Bettie Page,
The hottest vixen of her age.
Of all the nation’s pin-up babes,
  there wasn’t any cuter.
Her fans from 1955
Exalt her if they’re still alive,
Though now they need a little pill
  before they can salute her!
 

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In Memoriam: Paul Newman

Sunday, September 28, 2008

“Farewell to Mr. Newman!”
  cries the nation with a groan.
As an actor and a human
  he could move a heart of stone.
While his “Hud” could be distressing,
In “The Sting” he kept us guessing.
If your salad needs a dressing,
  what compares with Newman’s Own?
Hats off to Mr. Newman!
  Bells in Tinseltown will toll.
Hear each thespian and crewman
  eulogize his gentle soul!
Though [...]

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