Pachelbel composed a ditty,
Quite a catchy little strain,
Hummable and rather pretty,
Apt to drive you clear insane!
Now he’s lying six feet under.
Centuries have come and gone
Since we’ve seen that one-hit wonder,
Yet his earworm lingers on.
Harvey Pekar, Mr. Harvey Pekar,
A low-level clerk and an underground star,
Your fans are in mourning, your story has ended.
America now is a little less Splendid.
An irascible gadfly, a stickler for truth,
You were cynical, mordant, a trifle uncouth.
You’d snipe at the high and you’d carp at the low,
Which can get a guy banned from the Letterman [...]
I want my own MacGuffin.
It’s the thing I most desire.
I’d commit a crime to get it.
I would walk through hellish fire.
I’d intrigue with shady characters,
Although I might get shot.
In my life’s absorbing narrative,
It drives the very plot!
I’ve vowed that I will never rest
Until my quest is done.
I want my own MacGuffin.
Hey, but doesn’t everyone?
The chefs who’ve prepared The Last Supper
Have doubled the mass of their dishes.
With their huge appetizers
They’re true super-sizers.
They’ve multiplied bread loaves and fishes!
The disciples are practically bursting,
So they gently explain to the waiter,
“It’s his body we eat,
But by now we’re replete!
Can you box up a little for later?”
(With apologies to Nat King Cole)
Leonardo, Leonardo, they have named you
As the model for the lady with the smile.
Was it lust for bending gender that inflamed you,
Or was wearing frilly dresses just your style?
Were you out to prank your buddies, Leonardo?
Did you lose a bet while on a drinking jag?
Were you fey, as they say, [...]
Monday, November 30, 2009
Vitruvian Man is a cage fighting fan.
He tools around town in his old Chevy van.
He’s covered with tats
Showing dragons and bats
Plus a butt-naked lady named Kokomo Fran.
Vitruvian Man never eats him no bran.
He slurps his Spaghetti-O’s straight from the can.
Then he stops in the bar
For a cold PBR
Or if somebody’s buying, a tall Black and [...]
Sunday, September 21, 2008
The man who plays the fiddle
has a gift for the sublime.
He fingers with precision
while he bows in perfect time.
He can handle tricky rhythms
and the toughest double stops.
He commands a lengthy repertoire
from classical to pops.
His legato (full vibrato!)
yields a tone that’s quite complex.
He’s in it for the music,
’cause it doesn’t get him sex!
Friday, September 19, 2008
“A French museum has found a previously
unknown piece of music handwritten by
Mozart, a researcher said Thursday.”
–Associated Press
They’ve found a new number by Mozart!
An opus that’s never been heard!
A remarkable find,
The best of its kind
Since the Beatles with “Free as a Bird!”
But alas for the genius composer!
He surely will turn in his tomb
When some marketing jerk
Starts [...]