Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Combat troops
Disengage.
Mission’s changed.
Turn the page!
Now we train,
Show them how.
Biden’s there
Explaining now.
Afghanistan?
Pakistan?
We’ll defeat
The Taliban!
Here at home,
Middle class
Needs a boost.
Must haul ass!
Troops inspire
In times like these.
Kept my promise.
Love me, please?
Dr. Laura Schlessinger,
The Right’s beloved messenger,
You’ve lately been a target of abuse.
You dropped the bomb that starts with N,
Repeated it ten times again,
And thought, “It’s nice to have a good excuse!”
You whine because you’ve taken heat,
Except for Mama Grizzly’s tweet.
The LSM has got you in its sights.
But you’re simply, if you’re asking me,
An F-ing word-that-starts-with-C.
(I’ve [...]
Thursday, August 19, 2010
I’m Badass Blagojevich! Baby, I’m free!
No rinky-dink prison could ever hold me!
They couldn’t convict. I’m as good as acquitted
Of all but just one of the crimes I committed!
I’ll beat ‘em despite all their sound and their fury,
As long as one moron is picked for the jury!
Opponents of Cordoba House
Would pass a resolution
To ban construction of a mosque,
And damn the constitution!
And you, most honored imam,
So enlightened, wise and good,
Although you’ve got the right to build,
That doesn’t mean you should!
“It fosters peace!” ”Does not!” “Does too!”
How ’bout you all just get a clue?
Obama says it’s awesome.
McConnell says it sucks.
Pelosi says it’s excellent,
Well worth a trillion bucks!
Ms. Palin says it’s all a plot
By filthy commie swine.
But if Sheriff Taylor’s for it,
Then you know it’s mighty fine!
What were you thinking, good Congressman Rangel?
New Yorkers are asking, just what was your angle?
Your judgment was faulty, your ethics erratic.
Evading your taxes? It’s un-Democratic!
The Becks and the Limbaughs are on the attack.
Why, even Pelosi is turning her back!
Whatever possessed you, good Congressman Chuck?
The committee is waiting, so dude, WTF?
According to the TV ads,
One candidate’s a commie.
The other hosted orgies,
Hiring hookers for his mommy.
While one was making porno films
With hungry, homeless orphans,
The other sponsored bum fights
For a rush of sweet endorphins.
The one was hooked on crystal meth,
The other made his fix.
As usual, the choice is clear:
The lesser of two pricks!
I’m editing film clips
of Shirley Sherrod
To show her as part
of a terrorist squad.
I’m making it look like
she’s cheating at poker
While plotting nefarious
schemes with The Joker.
I’ll show her in Hell
selling Satan her soul,
Just to see if Tom Vilsack
will swallow it whole!
O Sarah, how thy word hath swept the nation!
For malaprop thou hast a noble knack.
Thou spakest of complete “refudiation”
And suff’rest from the press no end of flak.
One must admire thy lexical creation.
‘Tis almost as if Dubya now were back!
And yet, forsooth, thou wert in no way serious.
Thou merely wax’d jocaciously Shakespearious!
I’m an avid reformer crusading for change.
Incumbents are there to be axed!
I’m all for equality, justice and rights,
As long as I’ll never be taxed!
I’m a muckraking blogger, the mouthpiece of rage,
An expert at rocking the boat.
I live for division and brazen attacks.
In short, I’m pro-strife and I vote!