Skip to content

Category Archives: Food and Drink

Great Grape

The experts say that red, red wine Will keep your health robust and fine. And so, to live another day, I’ll drain a glass of Cabernet, A tonic known as dry Merlot, And then another called Pinot. A Burgundy comes next, and — Ah! Letsh have a nice Petite Syrah! And though it sheems I’ve [...]

It’s All Gouda

A cheddar makes a hearty snack In bricks of white or yellow. A Roquefort titillates the tongue, While Muenster’s much more mellow. A feta adds a touch of tang To anything on pita. A cracker’s simply not a Ritz Without its friend Velveeta! A Gorgonzola, Wensleydale Or Stilton always pleases. My once-pathetic life was changed [...]

Above Average Joe

There’s Safeway, Kroger, Costco too, And Piggly Wiggly?  It’ll do. But frankly, everybody knows The cool folks shop at Trader Joe’s. Yes, every hungry yuppie flips For zesty soy and flax seed chips, Roasted salsa (that’s José’s) And hot wasabi mayonnaise. There’s fresh mixed chard if you’re in luck And fine domestic Two Buck Chuck! [...]

Holiday from Health

Pancakes, waffles, eggs with ham, Denny’s Colon Blocker Slam, Sausage gravy, thick and pasty, Egg McMuffin, Big N’ Tasty, Double Whopper, extra cheese, Dairy Queen and Tastee-Freez, Chimichangas, chili dogs, Stuckey’s famous nutty logs, Long John Silver’s, Pizza Hut… Road trips kick a diet’s butt!

The Sweet Smell of Solitude

When I’m inclined to be alone, Completely solo, on my own, Sans wife or colleague, friend or boss, I eat sardines with mustard sauce. I pop the can; its thick perfume In nanoseconds clears the room. It renders many ill and cross To smell sardines with mustard sauce! Though others may retreat in haste, I’m [...]

Epitaph

Michael Egan was a vegan. Always ate organic greens, Hand-picked oats and barley groats In no way processed by machines. Michael was a junk-food-hater. Healthy living was his cause. Never saw that speeding freighter Hauling tons of Häagen-Dazs.

Little Big Man

Tell us, Little Caesar, For we’re keen to hear it all. Did you war with Little Pompey? Did you conquer Little Gaul? In Little Alexandria, Were orgies hot and sweet, And was Little Cleopatra What you’d call a three-meat treat? We’ve searched the ancient annals, But the answers still elude us. Were you murdered in [...]

Summer Recipe

A quick, easy treat for the summery weather: Mix flour and sugar and butter together, Then add in a couple of eggs, slightly beaten, A dash of vanilla to flavor and sweeten Plus soda for making the batter less heavy. Then bake in the back of a ’69 Chevy.  

South-of-the-Border Order

At José’s Taquería I had some frijoles, Some chips with both spicy and mild guacamoles Plus tacos, burritos, and chili con queso. (I ended up feeling muy lleno de eso!) I downed a few flautas with yellow tortillas, Tamales, gorditas, and fresh sopapillas, A crispy tostada, a big enchilada. From now till December, I think [...]

Get Your E. Coli Here!

There’s mouse crap in the hot dog stand And maybe in the relish. Who knows what’s in the mustard, But it’s likely something hellish! The bratwurst smells peculiar, But I’m not a fussy fella. A ball game’s not a ball game Without some salmonella!