There’s mouse crap in the hot dog stand
And maybe in the relish.
Who knows what’s in the mustard,
But it’s likely something hellish!
The bratwurst smells peculiar,
But I’m not a fussy fella.
A ball game’s not a ball game
Without some salmonella!
If I were continental,
I’d have soccer in my soul.
I would pay a million euros
Just to hear the cry of, “GOOOAALL!”
And if my team had missed a shot,
I’d simply blame the ball
Or send death threats to an octopus named Paul.
The news of the day was a shocker!
Are we off our proverbial rocker?
I’m as baffled as you,
But it seems to be true.
Americans care about soccer!
With a show of remorse, Tiger’s back on the course
And his shots are well putted and driven.
Though he once was a player, an 18-a-dayer,
It’s over, and all is forgiven.
He’s fighting temptation with deep meditation,
I think Theravada or Zen.
He’s chastened and tame, he’s respecting the game.
Okay, golf is boring again!
Monday, February 22, 2010
An Olympian named Scotty
Caused a scandal in Vancouver
When he let a local hottie
Give his bronze the Happy Hoover.
Though the champions of our nations
Should behave with more respect,
Still it’s hard to fight temptations
When your lanyard is erect!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Lindsey Vonn, Lindsey Vonn,
You have got it going on!
You’re superbly inspirational to see!
You can strike a perfect pose
With a minimum of clothes,
And from what I’m hearing, you can even ski!
The Saints marched on to victory,
Those bold and gutsy lads.
They put those hotshot Colts to shame.
They won their team eternal fame.
Incredibly, for once the game
Was better than the ads!