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Category Archives: Sports

A Royal Celebration

Hail to the Royals, the victors in Gotham! We’ll hoist a blue banner and join the parade! The crowd will get raucous for Cain and Moustakas, For Gordon and Hosmer, Yordano and Wade! Our offense was truly a twelfth-inning terror. For every Mets error, we knew we would score. Our tenacity punished the hubris of [...]

Birdies and Baddies

How do you handle a badminton scandal? Corruption is rife when the shuttlecocks fly. There’s treachery, cheating, and dirty competing. They don’t call it “goodminton.”  Now you know why! The game is a racket, referred to as “Whack It” By sinister fixers in league with the mob. So how do you handle a badminton scandal? [...]

Long Shot

You’ve got to love an underdog Who faces daunting odds To compete against the finest Of athletic demigods. So let us give a hearty cheer, For motivation helps. You’ve got to love an underdog. Let’s root for Michael Phelps!

Get Your E. Coli Here!

There’s mouse crap in the hot dog stand And maybe in the relish. Who knows what’s in the mustard, But it’s likely something hellish! The bratwurst smells peculiar, But I’m not a fussy fella. A ball game’s not a ball game Without some salmonella! 

Futbol Fan

If I were continental, I’d have soccer in my soul. I would pay a million euros Just to hear the cry of, “GOOOAALL!” And if my team had missed a shot, I’d simply blame the ball Or send death threats to an octopus named Paul.

From the WTF Files

The news of the day was a shocker! Are we off our proverbial rocker? I’m as baffled as you, But it seems to be true. Americans care about soccer! 

Straight Shooter

With a show of remorse, Tiger’s back on the course And his shots are well putted and driven. Though he once was a player, an 18-a-dayer, It’s over, and all is forgiven. He’s fighting temptation with deep meditation, I think Theravada or Zen. He’s chastened and tame, he’s respecting the game. Okay, golf is boring [...]

Medallatio

An Olympian named Scotty Caused a scandal in Vancouver When he let a local hottie Give his bronze the Happy Hoover. Though the champions of our nations Should behave with more respect, Still it’s hard to fight temptations When your lanyard is erect!

Golden Girl

Lindsey Vonn, Lindsey Vonn, You have got it going on! You’re superbly inspirational to see! You can strike a perfect pose With a minimum of clothes, And from what I’m hearing, you can even ski!

The Team that Could

The Saints marched on to victory, Those bold and gutsy lads. They put those hotshot Colts to shame. They won their team eternal fame. Incredibly, for once the game Was better than the ads!