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Category Archives: Uncategorized

Call Me Conflicted.

Dear Caitlyn, congrats on your bold transformation! You’re rocking the cover of Vanity Fair! And yet I applaud you with some hesitation For (pardon the metaphor) growing a pair. Because of your courage, your goose is ungandered, Your Mickey is Minnied, your guyhood is girled. But your beauty has set an impossible standard For all [...]

Change of Plans

This goes out to that small but faithful posse of readers who regularly follow The Daily Rhyme. For the last few months I’ve committed to posting a new rhyme every day. I can say with no reservations that it’s been a blast. Of course the quality has varied from day to day, but there have [...]

44 Words on National Novel Writing Month

Now’s the time for NANOWRIMO, Loved by fellow writing nerds. Friends are dashing off their chapters, Counting up their daily words. Raw production, that’s their credo. Damn the structure! Damn the plot! In a month, voilá! It’s finished! Am I tempted? No, I’m not.

The Game from Hell

I sullenly observe my rack With seven vowels staring back. I try an often-used Hail Mary, Hooking onto R for AERIE. I peek, then wince at what I drew: A lowly I and U-U-U! Exchanging tiles (You’d think I’d learn!) I get this torture in return: A Bingo, but I’m pained to say it, Not [...]

Thanks for Suing, Come Again!

Oh Taco Bell, oh Taco Bell, You bravely gave ‘em taco hell! You took no crap, no guff, no grief When some demanded, “Where’s the beef?” Your fierce rebuttal packed a punch: “We deep fry dudes like you for lunch!” Revenge served hot can be a treat. New ad: “Yo quiero lawyer meat!”

Year-View Mirror: 2010 in Rhyme

It was chaos again in the year Twenty Ten, What with earthquakes,  foreclosures and hacking. There were flash crash corrections and midterm elections Where Democrats took a shellacking! There was 3-D TV and the Party of Tea, There were iPads to play Angry Birds. South African fellas blew mean vuvuzelas And Palin was making up [...]

Alter Ego

I’m fairly decent-mannered.  I maintain a civil tone. I open doors for strangers, I’m respectful on the phone. I’m polite to clerks and cabbies, but in truth I have to say That I’ve often dreamed of being Basil Fawlty for a day! A brash and shameless misanthrope, I’d run a shabby inn Where the guests [...]

Announcement

Dear readers, though I love to write These rhymes, ephemeral and light, The “daily” era now must close To free up time to work in prose. I must announce, a trifle meekly, The Daily Rhyme will now be weekly. I’ll post on Mondays, and with luck More rhymes will sing, and fewer suck. So thanks [...]

Calling Mr. Bowdler!

You can’t say “sp*rm” in iBooks (The word’s just gross and sick!) Though Apple may supply books With names like Moby D**k! We’re left with dull and dry books, Which I regard with scorn. And so I say goodbye, books, The Internet’s for porn!

First Barrel’s Free, Kids!

I once could trust my car To the man who wore the star, And I never worried much about emissions. Then a tad more level-headed, I began to buy unleaded, For the experts said it might improve conditions. But I still gas up my mower. I’m not driving any slower. I’m addicted like a junkie [...]